Monday, January 21, 2008

How Can I Save Eminem When I Can't Save Myself?

This blog is here
because I have been depressed
since I heard Eminem is really sick
with pneumonia and heart problems and weight gain.

His music has kept me alive.

Hold on a minute...
I need to test this blog and see if I can get images up to tell the story of how
Eminem, Marshall Mathers, and Slim Shady
became my heroes...

Awesome the internet works.

Fact #1
If it wasn't for Marshall Mathers my movie collection would be totally gay. See proof above.

Fact #2
I have two guitars because if I ever meet Eminem I want to be able to say, "I am a musician too!"

And I wanna serenade him and sing him a love song ~ but I can't even play.

Well I can play the drums but it is hard to serenade a man with a loud ass drum kit between you.

Eminem has been a lifeline to me in my personal life and in my career.

Fact #3
I keep this Rolling Stone cover in my printer whenever I am not printing:

It is my shrine to the master lyricist.
I don't let anything bullshit come out of this printer.

Marshall get better or I will just lose it!

When I work out I imagine Eminem is my personal trainer.

I am gonna write something here
until he is better
because it's all I can do,
because I am a loser.
I can barely keep my shit together
without praying to someone
I don't even know.

He is my Jesus.
And my Jesus got fat.
And I need to save him
so I don't get fat
because the only reason I got in shape in the first place
is because I wanna look super fucking hot
the next time I have a chance to meet him.
And if he is gonna hide in his house
it will never happen.

No comments: